I am always reminded in the month of February about the love of my life, Matthew, and how we met. Our story is a long one, with a lot of history and a lot of growing together. There were many trials. Some was distance, a lot was family, and some was just the daily grind of life itself. But, we have a love that I know to be real and true. And if it weren't for my Father in Heaven and His wisdom in all things, I wouldn't be married to the most amazing man I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Our story begins . . .
I met Matthew in Aug of 2002, my senior year of high school. I went to Seminary that day and the person who was conducting class that day was him. It was this short kid, but very cute, who was stuck in a Scottish accent, and my first thought was, "Why in the world would he be talking like that"? He explained to the class that he had been talking like that with his friends and got stuck talking like that and couldn't get out of it. I, of course, thought he was being a stupid teenage boy. He was just doing it to get attention. He sat right in front of me that day. And as the class progressed he slowly was able to come out of that accent, and he said some things that were pretty insightful and deep. I didn't think boys in high school were capable of thinking that way, and something about him caught my attention right off. After the closing prayer, I wanted to talk to him. It was really weird for me to feel that way because I had basically written off boys as being stupid until they had come home off of a mission, but I was drawn to him. I couldn't explain it. But, before I could ask him his name or introduce myself he was gone and walking out the door. I watched him walk away, and as he did, the spirit spoke to me. I knew that in some way, that boy would be in my life, for the rest of my life. I didn't think much of it and shook it off and went about the rest of my day. And the next couple of weeks proved to be interesting weeks. I did things I didn't think I was capable of. But I'll get to that soon.
I had a dance class with my friend Megan, and she decided that we should go and try out for the play together. The play that year was Singin' in the Rain, and I was so excited! I normally don't go out of my way to do stuff like that, because I am so embarrassed to sing in front of people, but I decided I would meet up with her after school and give it a shot. So, I went to tryouts, but Megan never showed up. I decided to go through them anyways, in case she came later. I had talked to the director and asked if I could just do the dance tryouts, since I just wanted to be one of the dancers. I knew how to tap dance, and so he said that was fine. I did the tap tryouts, and then got to the singing one, and he excused me, and I went off to get ready to go to work. (I was working at Maddox at the time). One of the other directors wasn't very happy about it, but I had been in a choir class with the music director so I think they took pity on me. I was at least good enough to sing in a choir, so it must have been ok. I made it into the play as one of the chorus, dancing girls. I was very excited! And lo and behold, Matthew was in the play as well. I didn't know he was into that kind of stuff, so after rehearsal that first day I invited him to go to Wendy's to get something to eat and then I could give him a ride home. He told his Dad, who had already arrived to pick him up and he came with me. So, I took him to eat at Wendy's and we talked for a while. I took him home and I felt even more compelled to just be with him. He was a great listener. He seemed to understand my very soul. But of course, it was just silly, right? I mean, no one ever really finds someone like that without some sort of angle. But, as the weeks progressed getting ready for the play, and going to seminary, we became friends. We talked about everything that two people could possibly talk about. We talk about views on life and love. We talked about the gospel and how it had changed us. I even told him about when I gained my testimony, which I hadn't told anyone except maybe my parents at the time. It was such a special thing I didn't like to tell too many people. But, I don't know why, I just felt the need to share it with him. I felt the need to share EVERYTHING with him. I was a faucet, that just was spilling over. You could shut it off, but even then there was a constant drip of things I just felt I needed to share with him. We talked about our families, we talked about music, we talked about, literally, everything. And slowly, without really realizing it, I was falling for this boy. It would take me many more months to realize it, and many more after that to do anything about it.
So, during our time together in the play we talked and laughed, and went to rehearsal and performed. It was awesome! I even asked him to sing with me in seminary for a special musical number I wanted to do. He agreed and we went to a friends house to practice since she would be accompanying us. It was great to share that with him. Then, I found out that he was a Madrigal! I was so embarrassed! Why in the world had I asked him to sing? I was so totally embarrassed! He thought I knew, but I didn't know any such thing. And I vowed I would never sing in front of him again. And I kept that promise . . . through several years in fact.
My parents had gotten tickets that Christmas to go and see Michael McLean's The Forgotten Carols. I wanted to invite him, as a friend, to go with the family. He had been such a good friend to me that I thought it would be a nice way to say thank you. He had a performance that night, but he said he would still try to make it. He made it just before or just after intermission, I forget which. My sisters started snickering, and my cousin was there and she was asking all sorts of questions. He happened to know my cousin because he was in the same grade as her. They started whispering because he reached over to hold my hand, and held it throughout the performance. I was happy, but it felt normal. It was pretty natural for him to hold my hand, or for us to cuddle while we talked. He did that with a lot of girls. But it seemed that our hands just fit together so perfectly. The connection was so incredible. Yet it all felt as natural as breathing.
Well, when we got out of the show, I was going to take a car load home, since I had also brought a couple of friends with me to the show, besides Matthew. In order to get out and away we went through Pleasant View, and my friend Emylee, on every corner, was like, "I think this is the street where my Grandma lives." It was funny because, in all actuality, we were lost. It took me forever to find my way out of there and back to the highway, but we did and it was a fun night, despite all the setbacks and getting lost. It's something we laugh about a lot now. :)
Christmas time was an interesting time. I felt the need to get him something for Christmas, so I took him a blanket. I had gotten 2 of them at a family party I went to so I gave him one of them. He was kind of surprised, and I felt really silly giving it to him, but it was done, so I tried to hide my embarrassment and let it go. Over the next few months we would sit together sometimes at lunch and we would still hang out sometimes in the mornings. We did some choir practices together since I had joined concert choir mid-year and that was fun. Valentines day came, and I saw him with a bunch of roses, white ones that he was giving out. Apparently no one really knew they were from him. He had given them to the Madrigal girls that year, and they were from the White Knight. I guess he had a couple of extra that he gave to other friends, but I didn't get one. I didn't really understand myself, but I was a little upset, and so I went to lunch thinking maybe he'll explain to me since we sometimes ate lunch together. He didn't even look at me that day. He was with a group of his other friends, and I decided I wanted to be alone. So I finished my food and left to go over to the seminary building to wait for class to start. I was crying and sad that he had forgotten me, and even though it didn't make any logical sense in my head it made me a wreck that day. I knew he was doing those flowers for the Madrigals, he had told me. I didn't tell anyone because it was a secret, but I thought if he was giving them to other girls then maybe he had one for me as well. I talked myself out of feeling like a giant idiot, and just tried to move on. It wasn't like we were dating or anything, we were just friends. So I finished my day like normal and just decided to get going.
The next Sunday he called and I went over to his house. He wanted to talk to me, and maybe watch a movie or something. So, I went, just thinking we'd watch a movie as friends. He had a rose there for me, and explained that he had planned on giving me one at school, but he must have miscounted or something, and he felt really awful. So, he also gave me a single white rose with an apology. It was the first flower I had ever received from a boy. I decided I would keep it, so I went home and hung it upside down to dry it, and then I would put it away somewhere to keep it. Well, it turns out my sister was mad at me that week for something, so she decided to tear it down and destroy it. :( It really bummed me out, and made me really mad.
Anyway, time went on and I graduated from high school. Matthew was there at the graduation because he was singing there. I don't think I got to actually talk to him, even though we tried to get together at some point, but it didn't work out.
My birthday was coming up and I wanted to invite some people to have a party. This was kind of a big deal for me since birthday parties are hard for me. I share a birthday with my Mom, and we didn't really do much since something always came up, but I wanted to try having my 18th there at the house, and Mom agreed to let me invite over a few friends. So, we got the outside all cleaned up and put a TV out there and we watched a movie and played games and did all sorts of fun things, including put my head in my cake. Emylee said she would get me a cake if she could smash my face in one, so it then became a tradition to do. Anyway, I had invited a bunch of people, including Matthew, and we were playing tag and having fun. Matthew, however, was paying more attention to my friends than he was to me, so I was a little mad about the whole thing. I wasn't mad at my friends, just the situation. After the party I contemplated why I would feel that way, and I realized that perhaps it was because I had deeper feelings for Matthew than what I had admitted to myself. So, I decided to find out if the feelings I had were of any consequence, and if they were valid. When it comes to love I decided leaving things up to chance and not having the Lord's help was not an option. Only He could help me understand what I was feeling and if it was true or just infatuation. So, I spent the next 6 months praying, fasting, searching to see if I was really in love with him or not. I got my answer, in Nov that next year and had decided that I wasn't going to tell him, or even do anything about it. By this time we were best of friends, and he had helped me through a lot of things I was dealing with at the time. Things that possibly no other person could have been able to help me with. We were talking on the phone a lot, and sometimes those phone calls went far into the night. I knew that he wanted to serve a mission, and that was his dream in life, so I definitely didn't want to interfere with that. I did a Christmas gift for him that year, and tried to give him things that would benefit him on the mission as well as prepare him to leave. He was so excited! I went to visit my friend Sarah that day, and I was talking to her about the situation. She said something that made me stop and think about my decision not to tell him anything about how I felt. She said, in so many words, "What if something were to happen to him on his mission and you never told him how you felt? Could you live with that?" It definitely gave me something to think about. So, I spent another month fasting and praying to know whether I should tell him how I felt, or if this was just something that was being used against me to cause problems in our friendship.
At the end of January I was asked out on a date, and it was someone I had met a couple of years prior, and he was recently returned from a mission. I said yes, and he took me to dinner at the Mayan and then a Jazz Game. It was a lot of fun! On the way there, the radio was on, and the song was "Leave me Breathless" by the Corrs. And my date turned to me and asked me if there was anyone in my life that made me breathless. I wanted to respond yes, because in that moment I knew what I had to do. But, I couldn't tell him that, so I just said maybe, and we went on our date.
Well, when I got home I called Matthew, but he couldn't talk on the phone because it was missionary week, and he was also grounded. Something about getting his homework done. And I thought, really, a whole week. I am going to need to keep myself busy if I am going to make it through the next week. I knew that I needed to tell him how I felt. Heavenly Father was pushing me, and I was scared to death! Who knew what he would say. Who knew what his mom was going to say, and everything in my life felt like it was waiting on this moment. I called him the next week, and I told him that I needed to talk to him. He asked what about and I just told him it wasn't something I was going to talk to him about over the phone.
So, the next day, on Sunday, Feb 2,2004 Matthew came out and we went over the song we were singing for my mom's lesson in Relief Society, and we also had to sing for my brother's missionary farewell. So, after that we went into the den to talk. And, of course, my family all came in with the stories of my childhood, and the anecdotes, and the photo album. All I could think was I wanted to ask him if he wanted to take a ride with me, so we could have some privacy without hurting my family's feelings. Just as I thought it, he is the one that asked ME that. We were at least on the same wave length. So, we got in my car and we drove out to the Blacker Furniture parking lot. I turned to him and told him about the date, and things that I had been feeling lately. I honestly don't remember much of what I said because I was so nervous and I was speaking through the spirit in all honesty. He responded, but I knew I hadn't said the keys words that I was supposed to say. I didn't say "I love you". So, he talked to me for a while, but I don't remember anything he said really because I was so distraught over needing, and having, to say the words I love you to this guy. We drove back to my house, and in the car he said, "So what you're saying is that you like me, a lot." I turned to him and just blurted out without thinking, "What I'm saying is that I am in love with you". What happened next made me feel sad, and awful, and horrible and every kind of stupid. He gasped, and freaked out, and I was trying to explain myself and the feelings and everything I had gone through to come to this conclusion. But, every time I tried to talk, he would interrupt me and shush me. So, I sat there, feeling rejected and horrible and feeling that I had just lost one of the best friends I had ever had. I didn't know how I was going to live without him, but I guess I better figure it out since he didn't seem like it was good. It took him a good 10 minutes before he even said anything about what I had said to him. And when he did, then it knocked me for another loop. He said he knew I was going to say that, but that he wasn't prepared for the way it would make him feel hearing me say it out loud. He then said that we had a long road ahead of us if we wanted to make this work. And then he went on to say he would be talking to his mom that night about it and we would just do exactly what the Lord told us to do. We talked for a while afterwards, and I don't remember everything that was said, but I remember feeling hopeful. That we might actually work out, and that even that first day I met him the Lord knew what was in store for us.
There were many trials after this. There was a long time that we didn't even see each other since we both served missions for the Lord, Matthew in Korea and me in Chile. There were months before Matthew went out into the mission field that we didn't see each other because of other trials that other people put us through, but it didn't matter. With the help of the Lord we were able to go through each thing and become better people. We became the strong independent people we needed to be so that when did come together again, we would be that much stronger and steady as a couple. And when we did come together again, life had all worked out how it needed to. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father helped shape us and form us into who we needed to be so that when we met we were ready to listen to his counsel. We were both inspired and drawn together, and I believe that we were meant to be together. This time of year always reminds me of this time in our lives, and how far we have come since. It's been a long road, and the journey wasn't always easy, but we are so much more in love and stronger for having had the experiences. I love Matthew so dearly, more than words could ever express, and the day I married him was the best day of my life! He is so amazing, and just the perfect person for me. I will always be forever grateful that I listened to the spirit, and that I told him how I felt. No matter how terrifying or horrible it was at first, it was the best decision of my life. :)
After many more trials, and being married, struggling to have children, college, friends, family, having children (finally!), and finances and buying a home things are certainly never dull at the Hemby house. But something you can always count on is that the Lord is with us, and that we are continuing the journey, together, walking side by side growing more and more in love with each passing day.
And our story continues. . .
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