One of those things that I have thought a lot about lately in this journey is my patriarchal blessing. I couldn't find a copy in the house, so I logged into my LDS.org account and requested it, and was able to print it out. (Super cool!) I have a copy that I keep in my bag so that I can turn to it in times of trial and self doubt about what I am trying to accomplish. I was reading with Matthew the other day, because sometimes we take time to read each other's blessings out loud to each other and gain some insight, and maybe the other person can gain that insight and help us to see it as well. At the end of my blessing it states something that I supposed I have taken for granted for as long as I can remember. In my blessing it says that sin and sorrow is not happiness.
It's something that we hear all the time. It's in the scriptures, many prophets have echoed these words throughout time. But, I guess I never really stopped to ponder what that means in it's entirety. In the Topical Guide, when one looks under sorrow it also has other words. Words like adversity, anguish, despair, grief, misery, mourning, pain, suffering, tribulation, and trouble. I think everyone knows what sorrow is, whether they are able to really say it in words adequately or not. I would also add words like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and things of the like. Those things definitely cause us sorrow, and sometimes we don't know where to go or what to do to overcome it.
Alma 41:10
This scripture talks about wickedness never being happiness. I always assumed, through my blessing, that it talked about sorrow as well. So why then, did the partiarch feel inspired to put the 2 things, together, in my blessing the way he did? I have been pondering on this for a few days now, and have found something that has helped to elevate me to a better understanding. I think the Lord was most definitely trying to get at something here.
I went to find the scripture that talked about sin and sorrow not being happiness. I looked under sorrow and never found it. I looked under sin, and the same thing, I never did find it. I KNEW that there was a scripture there and I couldn't find it. I finally thought of the scripture mastery from seminary, and went to look at those scriptures. I finally found the one I had been looking for, and it read exactly as I remembered, only I guess I had changed it in my mind at some point to read how I saw in my patriarchal blessing. The scripture specifically says "Wickedness never was happiness". Wickedness and sin are synonyms, and I know from personal experience about sin and wickedness not being happiness. But the sorrow part I had never really thought about before. Sorrow is the exact opposite of happiness. Everyone knows this, even I knew this, but there is something deeper I think the Lord was trying to get at here.
The Lord Jesus Christ is what we celebrate this time of year. We celebrate the single greatest event in human history, that He died, that He atoned for us. He went to the Garden of Gethsemane, and he sweat as it were great drops of blood for us. To rescue us from sin, AND sorrow. He was then tried and convicted and went to Calvary to finish this atonement for us. For our Sins, for our Wickedness, and for all our Sorrows, Griefs, and Sadness. It brings to mind the scripture in Isaiah 53:3-5.
3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 ¶Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
There is a lot that is said and felt in that scripture, and my testimony of the Atonement is as strong as ever. I know that the Lord did what was impossible for us to do for ourselves, and He did it with pure love in His heart, so that we don't have to forever feel the sting of sin OR sorrow. One phrase of this particular scripture stuck out to me. "The chastisement of our peace was upon him". He went through all of that so that we would have peace. Not just the peace that this world has that is so fleeting, but an everlasting peace. Sorrow is what the adversary wants us to feel. He wants us to be so beside ourselves with emotions and not knowing what to do, where to go, or even to believe that we are WORTH saving that Christ also paid for us another price. He paid the price for peace. Because of Him, I am able to overcome my sorrows. I am able to know that there is at least one other person that will completely and totally understand how I feel, no matter what is happening in my life. I don't have to go through that alone, and there is a way to overcome sorrow as well as sin. I have felt the redeeming joy of overcoming sin. I have felt the forgiveness of my Lord and Savior from repenting of sin, and because of that was able to forgive myself. Sorrow is the same. I don't have to feel like there is no one there. I never have to feel like I can't talk to someone or that He won't listen or understand. Heavenly Father made me, and He loves me for who I am. If Christ could see the good in people, even in the worst of circumstances like being hung on the cross, then so can I. If He can see the miracles even in the trials, then so can I. Sorrow isn't happiness, but because my Savior suffered, and went through SO MUCH SORROW, I don't have to suffer for the rest of my life with it, and I can somehow pick myself up and keep going, finding the good in every situation. Because in all reality, it's all I need to make it through. All I need is the love of my Savior and to know that He can help me, no matter how I feel, because he already has been there, and paid that price for me. I can become more like Him by helping others in their sorrows. I can help lift other people up, and ease their burdens.
When I'm feeling sorrow, it is the exact opposite of what the Lord wants and NEEDS me to feel. So, instead of looking at it as Sorrow is not happiness, because it is obvious that it isn't, what can I do, combined with the Lord, to be happy, and to "Let my light so shine"? Hence I have the miracle jar I started this year. I need to look at that jar, often, and add things that I know are good things the Lord is giving to me, things to help increase my faith and to give me the hope I need to get through those days that feel dark and bleak.
The greatest part of the Atonement is the miracle that we see at the end, the Resurrection! He suffered through all that, and he went through things we will never be able to fully comprehend in this life. He suffered in agony and sorrow even to the point of asking Heavenly Father "If it be possible remove this cup from me." But even still He was willing to do that, to put everything out there for us. I can't imagine being in that same place. Knowing that the future of everyone rested on you, I would definitely be sad, depressed, even sorrowful. Yet He endured it, and He earned the reward. He Lives! He overcame that second death so that we could all live again, with our families forever and create families in the next life and start the cycle again. So, even though we may not see the blessing of the trial, we should look for the miracle, look for the good that came out of it; look for the things that will make us closer to becoming like God so we can, again, regain His presence.
We are here to gain light, and that is the only thing we can take with us. So, I am going to focus on collecting light. I am going to focus on gaining the most of what will do me the most good when I move on from this life, and I hope that I can be an instrument in the Lord's hands to help others to gain more light as well. I know that there will be days the storm is raging, and that I feel sorrow, and maybe even start to lose hope. But I know that by doing those things that are basic, reading, praying, and thinking of God, He will help me most on those days. I will ask Him to help me to find the light that I am supposed to find in the trial. I am so grateful for all that Heavenly Father has given me. I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I have the priesthood authority in my home and around me. I have a wonderful husband who loves and honors the Lord every day and I have 2 amazing sons who are a tender mercy from God. They help me to gain more light, and teach me new things every day. I hope I can always remember to find a miracle in every day, and to chase the sorrow away with the Lord's love and light. When I'm feeling sorrow, it is the exact opposite of what the Lord wants and NEEDS me to feel. So, instead of looking at it as Sorrow is not happiness, because it is obvious that it isn't, what can I do, combined with the Lord, to be happy, and to "Let my light so shine"? Hence I have the miracle jar I started this year. I need to look at that jar, often, and add things that I know are good things the Lord is giving to me, things to help increase my faith and to give me the hope I need to get through those days that feel dark and bleak.
The greatest part of the Atonement is the miracle that we see at the end, the Resurrection! He suffered through all that, and he went through things we will never be able to fully comprehend in this life. He suffered in agony and sorrow even to the point of asking Heavenly Father "If it be possible remove this cup from me." But even still He was willing to do that, to put everything out there for us. I can't imagine being in that same place. Knowing that the future of everyone rested on you, I would definitely be sad, depressed, even sorrowful. Yet He endured it, and He earned the reward. He Lives! He overcame that second death so that we could all live again, with our families forever and create families in the next life and start the cycle again. So, even though we may not see the blessing of the trial, we should look for the miracle, look for the good that came out of it; look for the things that will make us closer to becoming like God so we can, again, regain His presence.
"Christ’s mission was never intended to prevent hearts from breaking but to heal broken hearts." <3
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